Today while walking through dense fog of Missouri, Kansas City a thought suddenly struck my mind. Why I keep running? I recalled my past. God knows, I worked as hard as hell to stand where I am standing today. Even when I was a young kid, I would wake up when it is still one or two hours for sun rise. I would wash my face with icy-cold water, I would pray to Almighty to show me path, to take me where I should go, then I would start my work. I would study and I stop only when it was time to go to school. If I wanted to do something, I never looked for a shortcut. I would always learn every material diligently, tried to think about them, understand them, never looked for memorizing something. I always wanted to go deep. Years after, even today I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, started looking at a MIT course material name "Hacking a Google code interview". During my undergrad days, I lost myself. I had a wrong thought that talent is all about something God-gifted. At this point of life, after realizing earnest and mindful work always beats a talent, I started educating myself again. I choose the topics that I felt I should be good at. So everyday, I would wake up at 5 am, educate myself on the knowledge I want to know. I would go to work, work for 9 hours, I would come back home take 2 hour of rest and from 7:30 pm I would start educating myself again. I have been doing this for days after days, months after months. I asked myself Why am I doing this?
Suddenly today my heart spoke. I have been living in several places. As I live in a place, I have to leave some of my parts there. With the help of that place, I transform some part of myself and become a modified person. I have to shed incompatible part of me that would not go with that place and let new parts grow in myself. May be, all I am looking for is a family. A family where members live under the shed of joy and respect. Their discussions are not trivial, their work is synergistic and solid. They don't take life for only merry-making. They work, think, reflect, invent, create necessity, fullfill the necessities and thus earn honest living. I believe, the members of true family do not grow up under the same roof. One member of the true family may be from Bangladesh, another may be from Africa, another may be from China, USA or Brazil. I have met many many people at many different parts of the world. I keep talking with them, I keep asking them what makes them happy. May be I do this because, someday, somewhere, some person will say something that will change my world forever. May be all these self modifications are taking me closer and closer to my family, to the people I truly belong.
Suddenly today my heart spoke. I have been living in several places. As I live in a place, I have to leave some of my parts there. With the help of that place, I transform some part of myself and become a modified person. I have to shed incompatible part of me that would not go with that place and let new parts grow in myself. May be, all I am looking for is a family. A family where members live under the shed of joy and respect. Their discussions are not trivial, their work is synergistic and solid. They don't take life for only merry-making. They work, think, reflect, invent, create necessity, fullfill the necessities and thus earn honest living. I believe, the members of true family do not grow up under the same roof. One member of the true family may be from Bangladesh, another may be from Africa, another may be from China, USA or Brazil. I have met many many people at many different parts of the world. I keep talking with them, I keep asking them what makes them happy. May be I do this because, someday, somewhere, some person will say something that will change my world forever. May be all these self modifications are taking me closer and closer to my family, to the people I truly belong.
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